Easily Meeting Women : Shy Guy Dating Advice

One of the biggest challenges for shy people is meeting others. This is especially true in dating. Once you have met other people and developed a sense of familiarity, shyness is far less of an issue. Of course step one is meeting people, in this case women, so let’s look at that.

An often quoted statistic is that less than 2% of people meet their significant other in a bar or club. Yet often shy men think that the fact that they find it difficult to talk to strangers in settings like these is a major impediment. Now you should work on overcoming your shyness somewhat, but this is not a big deal.

So, for the horrible shy man, how do you meet women?

The key is low pressure methods since you are shy. Besides, who likes high pressure?

One of the best is absolutely speed dating. Go into it with no preconceptions and you’ll probably have a good time. Do not expect to meet a girlfriend the first time. It may happen or it may not. You will however meet several women and have mini-dates with zero pressure. They typically last 5 to 8 minutes.

At a speed dating event the organizer will have an equal number of men and women, usually within a rough age range. You signup for a few dollars, and then have a series of very quick and informal mini dates at the event, often held at a bar or restaurant. At the end, you specify to the organizer, often via a form you fill out, which if any women you’d like to see again. If they also indicate they want to see you again, the organizer gives out contact information. You simply setup another date with someone you’ve already met who has indicated they want to see you again.

Just use the search engines to find speed dating events. For example, try “speed dating Cincinnati” if you are near Cincinnati

Online dating is another method that works well for shy people. There are plenty of both free and paid sites – I rather like the free OKCupid. I’ll be honest; you have to work at this. Send out a few messages a day to women you find attractive, introducing yourself. The women will generally be much shyer that you; women do not like the idea of meeting someone online although they do it all the time. They would rather stick to the “Knight in Shiny Armor on a White Horse” fairy tale which is about as far from online dating as possible.

If you get 10% of women to respond you are doing OK. Just send a brief personalized message. After a couple back and forths suggest talking on the phone or texting – I usually say sending emails is so much like work I’d rather talk. After you talk once or maybe twice set up a brief meeting, perhaps for a coffee or a drink. Low pressure, in public, none of this lets meet for “dinner and a movie” type formal date nonsense.

One last method is of course through friends. Be proactive and ask friends, especially female friends or girlfriends/wives of your male friends if they have any single female friends they think might hit it off with you. I like to first meet in a low key group setting. You do not need to hit it off immediately and it’s not a “date” so there is no pressure!