Advice For New Relationships

How To Get a Relationship…

When you first meet someone you either have interest in them or you don’t. If you are not interested in them then you go on your way, but if you ARE interested in them you try to impress them with your wit, talent, and charm.

Unfortunately once we have caught the person we are trying to get we may lose interest in them as time goes on. Here are three reasons why that may happen.

1. Impressing Eachother Goes Out The Window.

In the beginning you are your partner were on your best behavior. You both put a lot of effort into making yourself look good and impressing the other personal. They meant you paid attention to what you said, how you said it, and how you acted towards your partner. But somewhere along the line you and your partner lost the need to impress each other and just became comfortable with who you are.

You figured that you are your new love interest were solid and you didn’t have to put any more effort into letting them see the best you, and this is what causing interest to go out the window!

You no longer have to show them what you can offer them in the way of a partner BUT you still need to show them what you can offer them in a committed relationship. You should be impressing them with your love and interest and patience and understanding – and anything else you can think of.

So start to trying to impress your partner again and you will find they will respond positively.

2. Will the Real You Please Stand Up?

Did that show my age a little? Probably. But the point is if you are pretending to be someone else to impress someone then eventually you are going to have to present them with the real you.

This means that if you told them you were an active person who loved spending every free minute outside doing activities, and you actually prefer your weekly line up of reality TV shows, then eventually you are going to want to sit down and relax while you watch your shows.

This will surprise them and cause a break in a bond they thought the two of you shared. They may not understand why the sudden change and they may mistake it for a lack of interest in them. Or they may understand perfectly that you lied in order to get them in your pocket, and now the real you as decided to come out and deny them the pleasure they got from sharing that interest with you.

Either way it will not be good. They may put up with the new behavior for a while but they will be upset and annoyed while doing it – and chances are you will lose their interest because of it.

3. You’ve Become Too Needy

When you first met you had separate lives; Separate activities and interests. You were impressed by each-others individuality, as well as your common traits, and that’s what brought you together. But now one of you needs to be attached to the other one constantly.

Part of being in a relationship is spending time together and sharing your life together, but it does not mean that you have to be tied at the hip together. You still have separate interests and needs. You are still two unique individuals.
The way I look at it is – you are always going to have you in your life. That’s the one relationship that you will always have! You need to spend some quality time with yourself doing the things you enjoy, whether it’s alone or with someone other than your partner.

Sharing your lives together is essential to a happy relationship, but always being together is not healthy. You are a unique individual who has unique interests from your partner, and if you stifle those interests and activities to please your partner then you both suffer. You also want to keep your unique self alive by being with just yourself once in a while. If you do this you will find that you have more to give your partner because you are not exactly like them.
Losing interest is not a required part of a relationship. These are just a few tips to help you regain the excitement you had in the beginning of the relationship.