10 Tips to Get That Long Term Relationship That You Desire

Many articles talk about how to get a date, but not many address how to achieve a long term relationship. Once the glamour and novelty begin to fade, smart couples learn these strategies to keep their relationship on the right track.

1. Learn to compromise.

Some people may feel that compromising is a sign of weakness, but it is actually a sign of mutual respect. No one should feel that they are being taken advantage of. In true compromise, neither party should experience a substantial loss.

The important thing is to know what you can compromise on. Never compromise on something that you do not believe you will be able to live with. Be completely honest with each other about your needs and enter the compromise with good intentions. Good compromise is a win-win situation for all.

2. Choose your battles wisely.

We all know someone who thinks that they have to win every argument. The key to a long term relationship is to avoid arguing as much as possible. Before standing your ground, figure out what the argument is really about. Many times the subject of the argument is not nearly as important as the underlying need that is not being met. Next, think about the consequences. Is this something that is going to improve or harm your relationship? Finally, ask yourself if this is something that you will remember a year down the road. If not, it’s probably best left alone.

3. Build trust.

Without trust, your relationship is doomed. Trust is earned and once broken, it is very difficult to earn back. Building trust requires a long term commitment. It requires honesty and forgiveness on both sides. Don’t expect each other to be perfect. If you have broken trust, try to be predictable and communicate with your mate if something unpredictable comes up. Be careful about keeping secrets. Communicate with your mate and follow through with promises. Help your partner feel emotionally safe and you will go a long way to developing a long term relationship.

4. Forgive each other.

If you continually live in the past, you will not have a long future with your mate. If your mate is truly remorseful for hurting you, you should be willing to forgive if you want to continue the relationship.

Of course, this does not apply to cases of abuse or repeated patterns of behavior. Figure out what you feel about a situation. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and look for the positives that have come from the experience. Forgiveness is more for you than for the other person.

5. Don’t give ultimatums.

No one likes to be manipulated. Giving an ultimatum is forcing someone to your point of view or acting the way that you want them to act. This backs the person into a corner and it is likely that they will become defensive and defiant. A better bet is to find a compromise.

6. Develop mutual interests.

Everyone needs their own space in a relationship, but spending too much time without your mate is dangerous. Instead, find things that you are both interested in and do them together. Explore new hobbies. Make friends with other couples. Look for a cause that interests you both. You will soon be on your way to a healthy long term relationship!

7. Think about more than sex.

Intimacy is really important to a healthy relationship, but it should not be the central attraction. Relationships built on sex will soon deteriorate once the initial attraction is over. In addition to physical intimacy, build emotional intimacy through personal sharing and empathy.

8. Give mutual respect.

Your partner is your equal and should not be treated as inadequate or incompetent. Don’t demean your partner with your words or body language. Show them that they are important to you and protect their dignity. Respect is earned, but it has to start somewhere. Be the person to show respect first.

9. Talk to your partner.

Miscommunication is the number one cause of break ups. Be aware that both individuals must be equally involved in improving communication. Be prepared to listen to your partner’s point of view and don’t respond out of emotion. A time of crisis is not the time to start talking to your partner. Start talking about significant issues now and make it a regular part of your routine.

10. Have fun.

Take time to laugh and relax with each other. Get away from the everyday routine and go away for the weekend or at least out for an evening. Enjoy life together and remember: you are never too old to play games!
The right person is out there for you. Follow these simple tips and you will get the long term relationship that you desire.